25

I recently made 25 years..
25 years that makes me wonder..
What have I lived?
What have I achieved?
25 years not pushed to the limit but just.. living almost invisibily..

I'm beginning to be down again..
'Cuz I have so many dreams and I can't come true not even one of them..
Life each day that passes gets worse, fool of the ones who think it might get better, 'cuz it won't!
The situation is so bad, and not only for me, but for most of the people out there, that we feel that we are losing our strenght, our faith, our will to improve and be better.

I sometimes feel like a zombie, that wanders around, doing all the things mechanically.. as if I was programmed..
Wake up, get dressed, eat, go to work, go home, sleep, and so on..
I know that I live in my own sick sad little world where I seem not being able to wake up to reality, but.. what's the point anyway? Reality sucks, and growing up sucks even more..
All my life I lived suffocated by many problems, to be honest I don't know life in any other way, so it's kind of normal for me living like this.
I know it would be much worse if I had it all and lost it, but that's not my case.

I dream of the day where my salary is enough for the whole month, where I can help my parents without any problem, without thinking that if I lend that money I'll be broke for the rest of the month.
Where I can buy food for all my animals when I want, and not when the money is enough for it.
I'd like to buy something when I like and offer a gift when I want to.
I'd like to go the doctor when I need, and not when I can spare some money to go..

Someone once told me that money nowadays is given more importance than it really has..
Damn true, but it's also true that despite money doesn't give you happiness, it sure helps!
I don't dream of being rich, I dream of having enough.

Now about my age..
Truth is that no one gives me 25, everyone gives me much less and I don't even feel like I'm 20 but so what?
I'm still 25, the years have passed and they're not coming back.


As I said..
We're living in a sick sad little fucked up world..

...And I'm sick of it..